Who said it was time for me to get old?    I know I didn’t say it was time – but it happened anyway!  It’s like it happened in my sleep – I’m only 43!  Here’s the deal:  I have been having a bit of pain in my left foot over the last few months – since moving to Florida (which I’m sure has everything to do with it).  I finally made an appointment with a podiatrist (that’s when I started feeling “old” but I quickly ignored that).  After a couple of speedy x-rays of my left foot, the podiatrist (who, by the way, was young enough to be my younger brother!) informed me of my new diagnosis:   I have “plantar fasciitis.”  It sounds lovely – sort of like a fern you might grow in the back yard.  Ahh, but that’s only wishful thinking!  Okay.  So, I get instructions on how to stretch the calf muscle  – which is connected to the plantar fascia tendon – you know, sort of like the leg bone’s connected to the knee bone and the knee bone’s connected to the other leg bone and so on? 

plantar fasciitis

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/imagepages/19568.htm

Well, that wasn’t all that bad, but then Dr. Young nonchalantly says, “Oh, and then there’s the bunion, but I guess that’s not news to you.”  SAY WHAT?  BUNION?  ISN’T THAT WHAT OLD PEOPLE HAVE?  Oh…my… gosh…  I better sit down for this – oh, I’m already sitting… So, I calmly asked, “Exactly, what is a bunion?”  He proceeded to show me, on my x-ray, as he pointed out the bone on the top of my foot (part of the bones leading to the big toe) and how it is no longer parallel to the other bones on the top of the foot.  As a result of this little twist, it knocks the alignment out.  Hence, a protrusion, if you will, forms on the side of the foot – and the big toe begins to tilt inward.  NOT so lovely.  I was simply shocked.  I came in for 1 diagnosis and got 2!  Is this Buy-One-Get-One day at the podiatrist? 

Well, I didn’t just get 2 diagnoses – it just keeps getting better.  Bartender, make that 3!!! Apparently, I have a tiny bit of arthritis on the top of the foot as well.  (Keep the good news coming, why don’t ya?)  I asked, “You can tell it’s arthritis just from that little tiny formation on the x-ray?”  He said, “Well, if it’s not arthritis, it’s from a previous fracture or similar injury.”  I quickly begin to leaf through the “injury” pages of my mind…I kept leafing…and leafing…nope – no injury that I can recall – sadly.  So, I guess this means I better start a journal.  “Why?” you ask?  Well, to keep up with all my old lady diagnoses!  If I don’t have a journal, how will I ever remember all of them?  There are already so many!  Plus, I better plan now for a good system to keep track of things since I will probably forget things as my memory starts failing…oh yeah, that’s already happening too.  

Geez – “I should be so old…”